Rainbow toes...

So, I just got done reading a blog post by my sweetie and I was really compelled to write my own $20.02 worth about the topic she chose.

The blog post was titled "Nail Polish is for Everyone" and can be found here.

So, I was present for this interaction where two beautiful children wanted to have their nails painted.

It started off with the eldest, a 4 year old girl wanted her fingernails and toenails painted. Seems harmless enough, but as her brother who is 2 watched his sister get her nails painted, he decided he wanted his little toenails painted too. After all, it looked like fun.

And as he sat and picked out his colour, gold sparkles..cause after all it is all about the BLING...his father mumbled off something about the little guy being a sissy and growing up all wrong if he paints his toenails.

My gut level reaction was not kind, but I tempered it well, and stated my stance carefully and precisely that it is merely a kid being a kid, and that nail polish doesn't make anyone anything.

And after reading my sweetie's blog, I really got to thinking about how much parents influence their children...as well as children of friends and family by the things they say.

We genderfy our children with bullshit notions of, "boys do _____ and girls do ____." And really, we (yes, I said we because I too have been guilty of this) project so many of our biases and fears off on our children that we in turn perpetuate the cycle of fear and hatred.

Since when did a child playing and indulging in something fun become something that we police gender through? When did play become something we punish our children through for not being smaller versions of ourselves? They are their own individual little selves, not mirror images of us. We cannot fix our mistakes in our lives through them.

This breaks my heart that we punish our children for merely playing and doing what looks like fun and makes them happy.

I know of so many little boys and girls who played gender defying games and roles as kids and grew up perfectly fine, to embrace societally imposed roles willingly ON THEIR OWN.


And the great thing was, after witnessing this interaction with my sweetie, the two beautiful children who wanted their nails painted, and disgruntled and homophobic dad...I decided to prove a point that having nails painted DOES NOT take away anyone's masculinity, and chose to have my nails painted. I let the kids help me pick out my colours and sat while having my toenails painted, playing and laughing with the kids because they thought I was so cool for joining them. Here are my toes afterwards:

And I can tell you, this small act, this small "fuck you" to any who would say that painted nails on a male would make them a "sissy", made me feel powerful beyond measure. Because I'll have you know, it did not strip away any of my masculinity...in fact it made me feel more masculine.

Also will say that the little guy who had his nails painted with gold sparkles is no different now than he was before he had his nails painted. He is just a little guy who wanted his nails painted because it made him happy. And really that is what we as adults, parents, and guardians should focus on. Not our internalized homophobias, not our fears, not our insecurities. We should focus on loving our children and supporting them in what makes them happy, what makes them feel good, and what makes them feel loved.

So, what colour would YOUR nails be??